Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
