hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
