Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My feet surprised me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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