dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
