She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
