You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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