apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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