Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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