honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Banned from zoo.
Again?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
