I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
