my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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