Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
