My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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