i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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