I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
