i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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