Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Your cock deserves a montage
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
