Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
