Define "chronic" masturbator.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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