he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
