So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
