4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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