You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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