I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
