We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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