nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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