sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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