Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
