then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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