there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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