That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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