i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
