Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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