Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
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I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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