i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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