That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
