I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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