Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
