Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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