I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
