whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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