end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Randomize
