I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nothing says āI spent too much in Vegasā quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
