I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And then my night got REAL pukey
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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