I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
