We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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