I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
