So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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