My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
