Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
