The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
