His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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