CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
