Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
