Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
