Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
