I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
