3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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