Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
where am i from again
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
