the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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