The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
