You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
