I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
